It finally happened. I think I had lulled myself into the belief that it may not this time. I skipped a day in my reading the Bible through a year. I laid down in bed last night, after midnight (after a late night meal and watching the Duke basketball game), I realised I hadn’t read my daily Bible reading. By this time, the streak was already broken and so I went ahead and went to sleep.
I feel quite guilty about it. I think in part because I am scared that now I have skipped a day, it will already be easier to do it again. This afternoon, I did read the reading for yesterday, but there is still something that feels like failure already. I’m not sure what to do with it. I’ve not easily dealt with guilt and I struggle to give myself grace.
I hope that now that I have a miss, the goal will become God whereas before it was about reading the Bible every day of the year. So, before I go to bed, I will read the lessons for today so that I can move past the ‘well, I have already lost it’ feelings. Perhaps that will open myself to more grace than I otherwise would have had.