There seems to be a good bit about male headship and men’s roles in marriage this week. The first post I saw was Pam’s, who learned that everything is her husband’s fault, but finds that lacking:
I have a huge ‘problem of justice’ here. There are three underlying assumptions that I don’t agree with. One, that the husband is most likely to be the selfish partner. Two, that the wife is most likely to be the unselfish partner. And the third: that even if the wife is the selfish (abusive, addicted) one, that it’s somehow the man’s job as head of the family to ‘cure’ her by his sacrificial love.
Then there was pentecostal theologian Robin Parry, who became quite scared when he found out that all his wife’s sins will be counted against him and finds that he’s not so manly after all:
I recall a sermon in our church in which we were told that we husbands – as head of the house – would be judged by God for all the thoughts and actions of our wives. Holy COW! I think I’ve got enough sins of my own to worry about without being judged for hers as well!!! I think I’ll duck out of that part of ‘headship’ if you don’t mind.
And then Dave Warnock gives counsel on how to help your wife with a new baby, especially when the husband is found wondering around at night talking about needing to file the baby:
Alternatively do things properly. Treat your wife as a proper and equal human being and take parenthood seriously eg get off your butt and do a lot to share the joys and burdens of parenting. What that is will depend on the three (or more) of you, your circumstances and preferences. Hint getting your wife sermons that tell her to be submissive should not be considered one of the acceptable options.